What’s your Poly?

According to Wikipedia, Polyamory is defined as from Greek πολύ poly, “many, several”, and Latin amor, “love”) is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. It has been described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy”.

Truth be told, polyamory have been the growing trend throughout the years, it’s just now people are more comfortable talking about it. Who says that being in a relationship with one person is the norm or the only way that a relationship can occur? This is how I see it- if a person can sustain their main relationship by involving another person every now and again- what harm would that do? I personally believe that you can not get everything you need from one person when it comes to a relationship- if your able to find that, you are truly blessed. Something is always lacking whether it be sex, finances, emotional support and/or mental support. People cheat on their partners constantly because they are lacking in one or more of the above mentions. If people were more open to Polyamory, I believe their would be more healthy, stronger, long-lasting relationships.

Mo’nique, the comedian, started this dialogue back in 2006 when she admitted to the world that her and her husband Sydney were in an open relationship. The world did not take to well to Mo’nique’s openness and really went in on her primarily because society believed that she was the one being taken advantage of. In 2016, Mo’nique disclosed that it was actually her that was having multiple relationships with other men and not the other way around. She explained during a podcast that she was still involved with a man when she first met her now husband and did not want to end that relationship. Her husband understood and allowed her to continue with the relationship while dating him and eventually married him. The relationship continue on way into the marriage until Sydney asked her could he have a girlfriend since she have a boyfriend. Needless to say that conversation did not go so well and had Mo’nique, reevaluating their arrangement.

The latest dialogue was T-Pain interview on the Breakfast club when he disclosed that him and his wife engage in threesomes. T-Pain explained the process in which his wife is the one that sets up the meeting with the other woman and himself. They do not get any randoms and are very strategic on the selection process. T-Pain stated that by having threesomes this shy him away from cheating on his wife.

Jidenna, another singer and rapper, also shared his experiences on being in a polyamorous relationship but his wife was the one involved with him and another man. It was interesting hearing his view on this situation because we never really hear a man openly admit that he is ok with his woman being involved with another man. Jidenna states that he would not be a real man if he did not allow his wife to be involved with someone else when he was out here messing around with other women. I really respected is honesty and commitment to making sure his wife stays happy. I also can respect a man that admits his faults and acknowledge that he will not change.

A couple of years ago, I would not even be entertaining this concept but as I become older, this new way of thinking is becoming more and more intriguing to me. I find myself contemplating this new way of thinking only because my heart can not bear anymore pain. I always find one, maybe two things that attract me to a person but it’s always never enough. A connection is more than sexual and I need to be fulfilled emotionally, mentally, intellectually as well as spiritually. If I could have an arrangement that would allow me to be romantically involved with two individuals at the same time, I would absolutely do it. I honestly don’t believe that you can just love one person. I probably loved two people at the same time, twice in my life and those two people couldn’t have been far from different. I also recall in both instances being happy and content because all of my needs were being met.

We as a society follow the norm more than our heart because we are afraid to be judged or viewed differently. How do you ever expect to be happy if your not exploring what happiness is for you. I did monogamy all of my life and look where it left me, heartbroken and confused. It also had me reevaluating myself and digging deep within to learn what it is that would make me happy. I can begin opening up my heart to other possibilities. Remember, happiness is what you make of it.

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