Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate a door opening every once in a while or my chair being pulled out. What happened to the good ole days when a man saw a woman entering the room, they would stand and greet her; opening the car door for her to get in or carrying her bags no matter how many bags there were. Now there are debates on who grab the check at dinner when back in the day that was never up for debate- a gentleman always grab the check. Men are not so eager to show manners anymore and I wonder what brought on this new epidemic.
Ladies, I’m about to let you in on a little secret. The reason why chivalry is dead is because we killed it- we murdered the fuck out of it. Today’s women are independent, self-sufficient, educated, powerful and a force to be reckoned with. So many of us have been hurt by men that when a real one come along, we don’t even recognize him. We had embedded in our head that ‘we don’t need no man for shit’, ‘we got this’, ‘I can open my own damn door’, ‘I can pay my own damn check’, ‘I can pull out my own damn chair’ and we do it and do it so well that the men say fuck it now- let her continued doing her.
I, myself, have been accused of being one of these women that murder chivalry by my very own husband. I recall coming from the market one particular night and I had maybe 4 bags and that bastard just got out the car and went straight in the house, leaving me with the bags and to struggle to open the passenger side. When I asked, ‘why didn’t you helped me with the bags?’, he replied, ‘you never want any help, remember your Miss Independence, Miss Feminist?’ I was furious, steaming!! So because you thought I didn’t want your help, you didn’t bothered helping? Did he thought he would be over stepping? I really didn’t get it.
I pride myself on the strong, independent women I have become. I had to fight so many battles to get to this point. By me being strong, independent and resilient does not mean that I don’t want to be treat like a woman. It also does not mean that I should not show vulnerability from time to time or signs of weakness because at the end of the day, I am human. I think men become blinded by this because we allow them too. It’s time to bring chivalry back ladies! Oftentime, we become confused if we should be offended or flattered when a man extends a kind offer. We fought so hard to prove to the world that we women can do everything a man can do and even better. Letting a man pull your chair out or open up the door for you don’t make you inferior to them. It just shows that there are still men in this world that respects you as a woman.
Men have to realize that being chivalrous does not mean that you are the knight in shining armor saving the damsel in distress. And it damn sure don’t mean that we need protecting more over than support. When men can fully accept that we are their equals rather than their subordinates, we can fully become comfortable with accepting their kind gestures as a sign of respect rather than a sign of weakness. I know it’s frustrating at times when trying to please us women. Either we view you as overly nice- the perfect gentleman or the sexiest jerk. It’s hard to tell when a man is being sincere or just want to get in a women’s panties.
Deep down, whether we admit it or not, women love a kind gesture every now and again. Do we need a man to pull a chair out or open a door to let us in first? No- but we sure as hell would appreciate it. I know it’s going to take a lot of work to bring chivalry back and as a woman, I can admit that it starts with us.