He Should Have Known

I was 16 years old when I was first approached by a grown ass man. This man lied to me about his age and I believed him because he looked young. He told me he was 18 when he was 27. I should have known better but what do you expect from a child that have never been approached by a man who was so opened about how beautiful she was. He should have known better because one look at me and you could tell I was a little girl. I always asked myself these questions as I became older:

  • Was I dressed too provocative? As I recall, I had on a pair of jeans and winter coat with my backpack because I was heading to school.
  • Did I give signs that I was hot in the ass? As I recall, I was on the bus with a bunch of my friends and never noticed this man staring at me as if I was naked.
  • Did I appeared naive and insecure? Maybe, I was 16 years old.

There are some sick, twisted men in this world that loves to prey on young, innocent little girls. Till this day, I don’t know why this man worked so hard to be in my life and to fuck it up but he did and just like the women that told their stories in Surviving R.Kelly; I will be forever damaged.

Let me first start off by saying how disgusted and outraged I was watching Surviving R.Kelly Documentaries 6 series. It brought back so many memories of when I was with my ex. Here we have, yet again, a man using his fame, influences and power to get what he want. R. Kelly, preyed on these young girls and sold them a dream so they can stay needing him; wanting him. These older men know exactly what to say and do to suck the young girls right in. They know exactly who to go after: the vulnerable, shy, low self esteem type. These men know actually what they are doing and need to start being held accountable for their actions.

I’m disturbed about the comments I have been seeing floating around social media, condoning R.Kelly actions. He admitted to being molested as a child. Okay!!! So why didn’t he get the treatment that he needed to heal from that traumatic experience? The young girls were hot and grown in their asses. So your telling me a grown ass man just couldn’t walked away? Why didn’t the parents say something back then?? How we know that they didn’t say anything? How we know if it was actually true that he gave these families harsh money? How we know what their daughters were telling them?

As a parent we do our best to raised our children with good morals and values- that doesn’t necessarily mean that our children will abided by our teachings. We were all teenagers once- we all lied to our parents about where we was at and what we was doing at some point of our lives. So again why are we shifting blame from the one person that should be held accountable?

It has been a lot of victim blaming and people are losing sight that these were fucking children! R.Kelly was grown and knew better so he was to blame for every trauma that these women had and still do have to endured. The reason why so many young girls and women are so afraid to open up about their sexual abuse is because they are afraid of the reaction or the lack of reaction they will receive. If you have never been in an abusive relationship, you have no idea the mental anguish that a victim go through. You become completely brainwashed and dependent on your abuser. You believe that he is the only one that loves you and the reason why he becomes so angry and upset with you because he loves you so much. You become accustomed to the name calling, the commands, the hitting, the yelling and begin to believe that this is a norm. He have you believing that everyone is against y’all being together so you shut everyone out of your life because that’s the only way you can stay together. It’s not so easy like everyone think it is to just leave. 90% of the time a victim is financial dependent on her abuser and that is what ties her to him.

We been heard stories of these allegations of R.Kelly back in the 90’s but we just brush it under the rug like black families do when a scandal occurs within the home. I’m puzzled as to why it took 30 years to finally disclose R.Kelly’s true nature. He already made his money, reputation and fame and is living nicely. No one can not convict him because either families allegedly accepted harsh money or the girls are of age now. We learned of him having a sex cult last year and again the allegations were ignored. Society has a way of protecting the rich and famous and they damn sure protected R.Kelly all these years. It’s probably not phasing him one bit that this documentary was aired because what do he have to loss? He’s not making music anymore, not touring and people are going to continue working with him when it comes to producing so he will always make his money.

As I write this blog, I’ve learned that criminal investigations have opened up in Georgia against R.Kelly due to the release of this documentary. He have been holding women in his home for months now and now they want to investigate? I don’t know if I want to feel angry, furious, relieved and/or disappointed. Hopefully justice will be served but we’re talking about a music legend that have been getting away with murder for years so I will hold my breathe with this one.

2 thoughts on “He Should Have Known”

  1. Very good post… I myself am a victim of being prayed on and groomed, at a very young age, by men that should have known better. It’s sad to think about all the children and victims who are let down daily by their families, their teachers, their churches, their communities as a whole! Now in this world, once they do tell their story they have to worry about being bashed by billions of people on the internet. We have to do better to protect our babies. We have to learn how to shield our victims and get them the help they need, oppose to blaming them for living their lives. We also have to be aware of our surroundings and watch out for one another. Unfortunately, predators aren’t going anywhere so we have to make sure that we(EVERYONE) do everything in our power to stop them. Again, Great post! can’t wait to read more from you!!


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