The Empath and the Narcissist

The Empath:

Empaths are amazing, special individuals- I should know because I’m proud to say that I am a Empath. Empaths have this special gift of placing themselves in other people shoes and feeling everything that they are feeling as if it was them. We feed off of others emotions, mental/physical symptoms and spiritual urges. It was a moment in time that I did not pride myself on being a Empath. Even though I viewed feeling others emotions and energy as a gift it can also be very draining. Imagine walking into a room and initially your overfilled with happiness and with a snap of your fingers, you begin to feel sadness and depression. Empaths go through this roller coaster of emotions, day in and day out, without warning. On top of this, we become overly sensitive to all of these emotions and feelings that we become overwhelm and this in turn take control of our bodies which can cause even more problems, physically and mentally. I thought being hypersensitive was being weak. I use to wonder why do I care so much for people that care so little or why do I overextend myself to make other people happy. I tend to attract individuals that needed guidance and thought it was my mission to guide them. It was a moment in my lifetime that the thought of being in a relationship made me quench- empaths loathes the idea of any type of long term intimate relationship. I couldn’t see myself committed to someone for longer than 6 months but I yearned for that type of commitment (weird, right). Maybe it was the thought of seeing the same person, day in and day out and eventually losing my identity because I would become too engulf with them that I wouldn’t even recognize myself anymore. When we do, however, decide to be in a intimate relationship, we are committed without a fault. We tend to take on the parent/child role in which we become the nurturer and at times it can be overbearing because we tend to cross boundaries unintentionally that often could ruin our relationships at the end. We take on our partners problems as if it was our own and work overtime to make everything better. So who do we tend to fall head over heels in love with dealing with all of this extra baggage?? They say opposites attract and we tend to attract the wrong type of energy/ The Narcissist.

The Narcissist:

A Narcissist is a special type of person. If you ever have the pleasure of meeting one or being in a relationship with one you know exactly what I mean by ‘special’. A narcissist is all about themselves. They are number one in their world and never see no fault in themselves at all. When you first encounter a narcissist- they are indeed charming, confident, assertive and exciting. They know exactly what to say and how to say it to wheel you in. As you become more deeply involved with a narcissist/ their true colors starts to show. Their confidence turns into boastfulness – the charm turns into offensiveness- the excitement turns into agony and the assertiveness turns into manipulation. A narcissist lacks empathy for others but are capable of love- yes- I said it- capable of love! They seek out individuals that can acknowledge their special qualities frequently- ego stroke as you will. A narcissist feeds off of a person that they can manipulate- someone who emotions they can toy with without any repercussions. This is the reason why a narcissist seeks out a empathetic partner.

Empaths are easy marks for narcissists. Their fear and rage can sap their energy and peace of mind to the point that they can make a empath believe they’re unworthy and unlovable. So one would ask- how the hell a empath who can feel a person bad energy a mile away; who make decisions off of intuition could fall for a narcissist? I have been trying to answer this question for a very long time because I indeed fell for a narcissist. When I first meet my ex/ I did get this bad feeling about him and initially left him alone. He found his way back in my life a year later when my guard was down and I was feeling vulnerable. I fell for the charm, the empty promises, his drive, his commitment and did not think at one time it was a act. Everything was going well until I decided to move in with him. At the same time I moved in- he was laid off his job. I tried everything in my power to not have him feel bad about his situation but he had a way of projecting his feelings of inadequacy on me. He would criticize everything that I do to make me feel just as bad as he did. The more I try to make things right the more he made me feel like shit. The longer I stayed in the relationship the more I started to hate myself. Day in and day out, he would belittle me when he even sense a little bit of happiness. When things started going right for me as far as new job, starting college- he would try his best to discourage me. When he saw that his words was not affecting me anymore, he started resorting to physical violence . It took 4 years after the physical abuse started to finally say enough was enough. I had to learn to stop allowing this man to turn me into something that I was not. For the longest time, I felt sorry for him and each time he would apologize- I would believe him. I thought he could change- would change but he never did and there was nothing I could do to change that.

Being a empath, you have to learn how to not take on everybody’s problems as your own. Learning how to back away is one of the hardest thing for us to do but it can be done. First we need to break away from the person and/or things that are bringing us down emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Secondly, we need to set healthy boundaries for ourselves- not getting too in depth with others problems that will bring more harm then good and allowing the other person to figure it out on there own. Lastly, mind your business!! Some situations do not need your input and it’s best to just stay away.

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